Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Topic of pure evil

Today I shall be talking about truly evil beings… WOMEN Cute lil girls

*Gets bitten by Cat, Boxed by bony arms and the “scream of make you wanna scratch your bones out ” +9 by Gina OMG IT GLOWS…

I’M SORRY!!!!! I’ll never call you WOMEN AGAIN!!! *History repeats… Sprawls on the ground while my girlfriend violates my sisters. She’s been dying to do that for quite some time now XD EXPOSED!!!

I can seriously picture it and its bringing shivers down my spine… Which will be missing if I continue this blog =O but for the sake of mankind… I shall not be spineless and continue!! … The irony… and lameness… I know…

What spurred me to write this… 9am to 5pm of studying and I’m feeling kinda suicidal + the fact that I’m feeling kinda brainless which helps me write lame shit * the fact that I haven’t written anything = THE SUICIDAL BLOG

Now to get back on track… I’ve had a lot of experience in women… OMG KEITH o_O I SEE THAT FRIGGIN SMILE DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SEX TO YOU!! As I was saying before I was brutally interrupted, I’ve had a lot of experiences with so many weird women I decided to write one about all these weird women in my life.

Woman number 1: JEANIE

I will take special care to ensure that she will be the only woman in this blog with her name in CAPS WHY? THE SAME REASON SHE’S NUMBER 1!! For 1 obvious reason… She’s MY SISTER~~ or brother… I can never tell with that phantom dick she keeps talking about. Yes my friends, her balls shrink with us when she sees

She’s even more manly than me though she still looks like a girl *Thank the gods above I remembered!!* and PLEASE… I’m not feminine… At least when its not by HER standards -.-“ Hulk Hogan is even more feminine than her cos of his man titties

Woman number 2: Jesslyn

Just some random dumb chick who was my best friend Keith’s girlfriend and decided one day to suddenly tell me how much she liked me… Stupid bitch. Told Keith and it was end of story with her. How stupid was she to not know that I’m going after the same man as her tsk… err shit... I’m NOT FEMININE!!! ARGHHH!!! *Dances naked under the moonlight* Is now a good time to use the word… Manhandle?

Woman number 3: Gina

All I wanna say is… How can someone who grew up so wrong turn out to be a better person… Though besides her moral character and wisdom… She’s just twisted in every other way. I can’t remember how many hamsters she killed man… I think it was 7?

1: Hammered to death with a pencil box in 1 BLOW RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIGGIN EYES

2: Frozen to death in fridge (Yummy food…)

3: Drowned to death in basin

4: Pregnant hamster stuck in the shoe cabinet… to rot… I’m not even counting the babies

5, 6 & 7: Bit their heads off 1 by 1 and swapped their heads then placed them in our left shoes… No I’m joking I just couldn’t remember what she did to them but wouldn’t it be cool if she really did this XD

p.s. she was around 5 yrs old. Evil starts young. Hey Gina I found your baby pic

Did I mention my elder sis JEANIE grabbed our cat by the tail and slammed it in the wall over and over and over and over JUST LIKE AN ENERGIZER BUNNY! Energizer bunny = sister…

Then my dad also had this twisted practical joke on a hamster… He would open the cage and once it stuck its head out he would slam it down on it… He did it too hard once and its eyeball popped out. The FRIGGIN HAMSTER ATE IT!! *Twitches* We really had to let it go… That was a 10 on my freaky animal scale

I feel like Buddha in a family like this… oh wait… the iguanas… sorry but this isn’t an R21 blog so I can’t really talk about.. OMFG KEITH STOP SMILING!

Woman number 4: y-e

I’m getting tired so I’m gonna make this brief… She was with my other best friend Paul for 2 yrs, I had to fucking counsel her while he's not around for 2 fuckin years. Then wants to cheat on him so he broke up with her. 1 year later, she’s with another guy, Mr B. But she likes this other guy Mr C. and she’s still in love with PAUL!! This is so damn weird and twisted huh? Head swirling? That’s not the best part… Paul comes back to Singapore and she asks ALL 3 OF THEM OUT AT THE SAME TIME. She’d win 1st place in the weird women category if not for the phantom dick… Close one. How awkward would it be man... She can kiss her boyfriend, hold the hand of the guy she likes and XOXXOOXOOOXX with Paul.

Twisted shit…

Woman number 5: CAT~

Yeah she’s definitely getting a place in here for 1 simple reason. She’s my girlfriend. Case closed. Could talk about her lesbian tendencies for my sisters but… this is not an R21 blog… Keith is crying now I gotta go console him.

There's actually a lot more to talk about but I'm tired... so if any girl feels she’s been neglected in this blog please feel free to bite me.

Note: I WILL refer to you as a woman if you do want a place in this blog. =)

This sentence was my death warrant. I wonder how many noticed I put them as woman.

Sign: Alvin

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